Art Miramontes blog

Developing a Stronger Bond with your Kids – My Secret!

Posted on: December 28, 2010

If you haven’t noticed my now, I love my kids dearly as many of you love yours.  People continuously ask me how I have developed such an incredible relationship with my (3) sons, and how well I connect with them.  Well…there is no “silver bullet” for this just hard work.  Every relationship requires lots of work, whether it’s with your son, daughter, spouse or your neighbor!

My secret is actually very simple, but complex at the same time.  I TALK to my kids…A LOT – about everything.  We have developed such a comfort level that is pretty amazing.  It sounds so simple but requires absolute trust.  Sounds weird since they are your kids, but you would be amazed at those parents that do not feel comfortable speaking with their children – let alone trusting them. 

My journey started long ago.  The conversations I had with my kids were  both – good and tough, mostly tough at first.   The tough conversations were very challenging, but the good ones were life changing.   Those were the ones I focused on the most.  So, when it came time to “praise” them during the good conversations, I made a big deal out of it.  So, guess what they wanted the next time…and the next?  After a while, the conversations became very pleasant, and the pendulum swung from tough to good.  Every time I had a good positive conversation, I made my kids feel like a million bucks.  Never underestimate the power of “praising someone sincerely in public”.   The trick here – Do it so it’s meaningful, but don’t do it so frequently where it gets “watered down” and loses the effect.  This has been my strategy and has worked for me.  But, like anything else…it takes time to develop and evolve, so let it.

For me, this has been a beautiful journey and a great experience to have this type of relationship with my boys.  The beauty of all this is that I know they will follow and do the same with their children.  At the end of the day, we as parents can just guide them and provide great examples for them to follow.  The rest is up to them…

Try this strategy, and let me know how you progress… 

May the New Year bring you incredible bonds with everyone you touch and inspire!

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