Art Miramontes blog

Archive for January 2011

 The last two weeks my son, Arturo and I have been touring schools and speaking with our future generation.  As I speak with the students, it amazes me to see the enthusiasm and excitement when an author shows up at their front door steps. One thing I have noticed is the creativity that still exists with our young kids. With all the technology students are using these days, you would think it would have deteriorated somewhat. But, I would like to be the first to tell you that is not so. Students still use their creativity and imagination without even knowing. But, what I really want to talk about is role modeling.

During our presentation, we talk to the students about “role models”, and that piece does concern me. After speaking to almost 20,000 students in the last few months, it has become apparent we need more role models for our children. We do not need more super heroes. Many of the students we spoke with idolize role models – that do not exist. I had several kids tell me their role models were characters like “Batman, Superman, Spiderman and even the Green Hornet”. I understand they are looking to emulate someone who is strong and courageous, but they also should be real. Too many kids are looking up to people who exist in movies or comic books. Great for their imagination, but they need to relate to someone they can aspire to be (I’m not sure leaping over tall buildings, or shooting webs to glide across them is a good idea).

We cannot choose who their role models will be, but we can certainly explain what a role model can be to them…especially if they are real people. I guess the bottom line to this blog – really comes down to speaking with your kids more, and ensuring they have good guidance and direction in everything they do. The more you talk with them, the more you will be in tune with their hopes, their thoughts, their dreams and maybe even who they aspire to be. Hopefully it will be someone like you…

Start the conversation with them….ask them, “who would you consider your role model to be….?”

What do you see?

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One of the five basic needs to developing a healthy and confident child is to show them “respect” as well as to others. Finding common ground is a good way of accomplishing this, and also shows that you are willing to hear them out.  In some cases,  it may reduce stress and that anxiety we tend to built up as well.

As parents, we sometimes think we know all the answers, but you will be amazed at some of the responses you will get from your kids.  Sit down, talk to them and ask them stuff.  You’ll be surprised at what they truly know and understand.  I know I did!

One key strategy for showing acceptance and respect is getting feedback from your children. I say this because that is part of my daily routine.  I tend to ask my kids and get feedback on our conversations (of course, use good judgment and don’t ask your child about how to invest or about the next big stock).

This simple strategy also strengthens the relationship and makes them feel confident and comfort about themselves.  Finding common ground is also about compromising with your children. We don’t have to win all the battles with our kids, just the important ones!  Establishing that equal playing field really does create a comfortable family environment, and shows respect for one another.   Simple but effective!

Would love to hear your thoughts!